It was at this point that Rabbi Levinger explained the fundamental flaw in our entire approach to Hashem and Judaism. Our problem is that we, along with the majority of Jews in the world, were brought up 'religious'. He expressed his condolences and sympathized with us because he too was brought up 'religious.' In truth, Judaism is not a religion. Mayanot yeshiva is anti-religious. Chassidis is anti-religious.

I think some more explanation is required…

'Religion,' by its very definition is a set of laws which tells a person what to do. It lays down rules and issues punishments. It is very restrictive, demands refraining and it meddles with every aspect of life, or at least the most important and enjoyable ones – marriage, food, social interaction, business etc. So, by this approach, one can't be blamed for running away from 'religion'.

In fact, I encourage you to do so. Get away from it before it drains your life of any enjoyment whatsoever. Hopefully, in dropping religion, you will discover that your shoulders feel lighter and your soul can begin to breathe. Further, the most remarkable realization should manifest. Judaism is a relationship. At this point, it is necessary to reflect on all the people that you love. And further, contemplate on the times when you were most in love. Recall your first love and how dizzy you felt. Think about your closest friends and your family. Think about the warmth and experience of being in love and being loved in return. Think about the shelter and emotional support that comes with love. Think about all the times that 'being rational' has flown out of the window when you are struck by love, or when you try and express your love. Meditate on the pleasure that you have gained from loving another.

Now, whilst you are feeling a little warmer, when you are in those loving relationships, do you feel restricted? Do you felt like everything you did for one another was a drag? Do you remain faithful to your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or best friend because of the law that binds you OR out of the love that you share for one another?
Relationships are characterized in one of 2 ways. They are either:
a. dominated by love; or
b. dominated by fear.
The ones dominated by fear are the 'religious' kinds of relationships.

There is nothing worse than being committed to a bad marriage, one where the love is lost and your actions are motivated by fear of being punished or caught by the other person. 'Religion' is being committed to a bad marriage. You do just the bare minimum to keep the other person happy, and even then, you look for ways out.
Now, it is the relationships dominated by love that are the eternal kind. One is motivated by intense love and all ones actions are expressions of that love. The only fear is the fear of being separated from that which you love. Here, not only do you do the minimum expected in the relationship, but you go further than this and you bring flowers home after work, you picnic on the river, you buy presents for each other, you make time to share your thoughts, you holiday together, you doodle each others names when you are dreaming.

As well as the things you do actively, you also compromise certain things in your life to suit the person you love because making them happy is what makes you happy. So, you don't leave your dirty shoes in the house, you don't eat things that your partner/best friend doesn't want you to eat, you don't spend all night at the office. In other words, you take the other person into account when you make decisions. This is all out of love.

If your approach is 'religious' then you have to somehow juggle 613 commandments that impose themselves on your life and affect all the things you like to do. If this is you, then you may try changing your perspective away from religion and consequently free yourself up. You will be exposed to a whole new world. And, in this new relationship, you won't be completely at a loss of where to start because your partner, out of love, has given to you as a gift, 613 romantic tips, ways to express your love in a real, meaningful fashion. And the greatest thing of all is the love that is returned is the eternal-type that sticks with you even during the times when you don't feel the love so much. Every relationship has these moments, but, when the emphasis is love, you will be motivated to work hard to bring yourselves back to the open and expressed feeling of that love.
Welcome to a whole new world!